thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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