i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
