what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize