new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
