i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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