Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
