meet me or not, i'm out of control
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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