My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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