i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
a search helicopter?!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
