his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Randomize
