Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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