But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My liver just broke up with me...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
