I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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