Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sarcasm needs its own font
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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