I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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