Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
