you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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