I wanna passion pit in your ass
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
