I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
