I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
