He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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