even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
