I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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