summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
