i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
