you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize