I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize
