Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
