She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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