I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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