Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
