I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
