How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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