So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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