drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
