There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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