i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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