I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
