I wanna passion pit in your ass
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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