elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My feet surprised me
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