I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
