I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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