I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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