I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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