yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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