i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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