I wish I could punch you in the face.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
