you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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