I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
