We won't sleep together?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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