You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
