Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
