so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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