what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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