No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
