Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
