Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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