So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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