If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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