Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
