Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
